Under This Burning Sky
by themoonanditsstars
Summary: Marauders' time at Hogwarts. Peter isn't annoying. Rated M for later, nothing too explicit. Mentions of abuse but no detailed description. Including: Wolfstar and Jily. Few chapters focusing on their romance, but overall on the marauders.
1. Chapter 1

_Under this killing moon_

 _Under this burning sky_

 _The fire's shining groom_

 _I hold my breath and close my eyes_

 _–Under a Killing Moon, Thrice_

"Things always happen for a reason, dear, it's called fate, mummy has to do this. dad will keep you safe, Remus." Caroline Lupin wrapped her arms around Remus' small, frail body.

Remus didn't understand. Mummy was going away? When would she come back? He looked up at her, and, despite his confusion, murmured in agreement.

Theodore Lupin was crying. Tears streamed down his face, gushing and flowing.

"Caroline."

"Teddy, my dear teddy, keep my baby safe. keep our baby safe."

Then she was out, her knife raised and slashing expertly.

The creature did not care. It didn't care that it was being slashed and cut. It cared only that this was fresh meat in front of it. Fresh meat. Blood. Food. Prey. The creature screeched and cried then launched itself at her. There was red and there were screams and then there was silence. Hunting time was over. Away. The creature was sorry. It didn't mean to be a monster.

Remus opened his eyes, blinking at the bright white surrounding him.

"Mummy?" he called out, but didn't get a reply.

"Daddy!" he cried out, insistently.

"Shh, remus, your mother is gone! gone!" Theodore shouted back, his voice rising towards the end of the sentence.

Remus was taken aback. Dad never shouted like that.

"You're not dad."

"Remus, listen, listen to me. You are not human anymore. You are a monster now, and there is nothing you can do about it. Do you remember the monster that your mother was fighting? You are it now. We have to go, before they find out." Theodore grabbed Remus' wrist and pulled him out of bed, then drew out his wand, looked around, and apparated back to the Lupin House. Remus wash sure he heard him whisper "this is all your fault," as they had left.

Remus was terrified. He didn't want to be a monster. He wanted his mummy.

 _5 years later, Lupin House_

It was remus' 11th birthday today. he had foolishly hoped that maybe, just maybe, his father would remember this year. He had been stupid to think his father would even spare a thought for the useless occasion.

He remembered his father telling him, when he was much younger, that he had begun school at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry at age 11. Remus would never be able to go. He had too many secrets, too much to hide. It was safer for everyone if he stayed where he was, attempted to live his life out as a muggle with monthly problems.

A bitter laugh escaped him at the thought of that. A monthly problem? A beast was unleashed inside him every time the moon shone full and there was nothing he could do to control it, except scratch and claw at himself, in an attempt to stop himself hurting others. He hated to think about it, he hated knowing that that was him, that always would be. He was glad when his father shouted for him, yanking him out of his reverie.

"F-father?" he asked quietly, praying he hadn't said it too annoyingly or quietly.

"Remus. I can't look after you, you know that. I can't patch you up after you give yourself those – not undeserved – cuts and scratches. An offer has been put forward by Albus Dumbledore and we both would be stupid to not accept. You're going to Hogwarts. They will let you monster in a place away from others every month, and no one shall be informed. You must not disclose your ailment to anyone, at all."

Theodore lupin proclaimed all this in one bored, expressionless breath.

Bewilderment took Remus over. hHe was going to Hogwarts. He was going to actual, real Hogwarts. What had he ever done to deserve such treatment? Certainly nothing good enough to be granted permission to go to Hogwarts.

"Y-yes, father," Remus stuttered, then walked off in a dazed stupor.

"I have already owled him with my consent, you will leave for the station on September 1st. I trust you can find your way," Theodore called after him.

No, he couldn't, but he had to find out. He had 2 days.

It was two days later, and Remus Lupin stood, mouth wide open in shock, on platform nine and three-quarters. He had two small suitcases with him, containing books and robes he had managed to rustle up and find in second hand shops and his father's attic.

He was already dressed in uniform, bar the robes, since he had been so desperate to wear them, much to his father's annoyance. He looked around and watched parents hugging and kissing their children, wishing them luck and telling them they loved them. Remus wondered why they were doing this. Affection showed you had weaknesses, father had always told him. He needed to be strong.

He took a deep breath and walked up to the scarlet steam train, squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them again. This was it. This was his chance to be normal. To be human.

As he boarded the train, Remus couldn't help but break into a wide grin. This was actually happening. He wandered along the aisle, looking in on compartments and waiting to come across an empty one. Don't get close to people, his father had said, you don't want them to see your monster.

He found one right at the end and gratefully chucked his luggage in and flopped down over two seats.

After taking a moment to collect himself, he shoved his cases on the rack and sat back down opening A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot. He had expected to be more behind than other children, so had spent the past two days reading every spare second he had. Consequently, he had barely had a wink of sleep and so fell asleep after reading for about 5 minutes.

"I expect we'll be arriving in about 15 minutes, i'd get up if i were you," said a voice, accompanied by a hand shaking his shoulder. Remus opened his eyes and shot up, startling the red-haired girl shaking him awake.

"Evans. Lily Evans," she said, holding out her hand.

"Remus Lupin," he responded quietly, taking her hand but dropping it after a second.

"Well, come along, Remus, you know you don't move at all when you're sleep? it's unsettling," she informed him.

"Oh," was all he said, reaching up to grab his cases.

She raised an eyebrow, "most 11 year olds can't lift a trunk with one hand– two trunks."

"I'm not most 11 year olds." And with that, Remus walked out of the compartment and made his way down the aisle, ready to leave the train.

After a short while, the train finally pulled to stop, very suddenly and with no warning. Subsequently, Remus was thrown right into someone.

"Watch where you're going, idiot," hissed the person who he'd bumped into. He had shoulder-length white hair, but not the sort you'd find on elderly people, more a very, very platinum blond.

"I- I'm so sorry," Remus managed to say, then ducked his head and stumbled away.

"3 ter' a boat, on ye' get, c'mon firsties!" came the loud, earth-shaking voice of Rubeus Hagrid, the gamekeeper.

"Hullo, son, you want to get on one the boats?" Hagrid asked Remus in a friendly voice.

"O-oh, y-yes, of course," Remus stuttered and hurried onto a boat with Lily Evans and a black-haired boy with glasses and hazel eyes.

"Hello!" said the boy, his hair sticking up at all angles.

"Hi," Remus replied, significantly more quietly.

"What's your name then? i'm James."

"Remus Lupin," he replied, with a small smile.

"Potter, James Potter."

Remus blinked in surprise. The Potters were a well-respected wizarding family and were not known to have such a scruffy atmosphere surrounding them.

"You both know me already, so no point introducing myself?" Lily put in, with a kind smile.

Remus smiled but it soon faded off his face when he remembered his father's words, don't get close to anyone, they're going to find out.

"You all right, lad? You've been looking a bit sickly the past 5 minutes," asked James, concerned.

"Oh y-yes, I'm quite al-alright," Remus replied, a weak smile gracing his face.

"Look!" Lily cried out, pointing, "Hogwarts," she whispered, awe in her voice.

Remus would have been lying if he said he wasn't equally as taken aback.

From their position, he could only see a small part of the castle, but still, it towered high above him, lit up in a warm, welcoming way. It had the atmosphere of the home Remus had always dreamed of. This is home, from now on. Remus almost audibly gasped when they turned a corner and the castle was exposed in its entirety. It was so majestic and magnificent, smiling almost patronisingly at them, the way a nurse might when they have a childish patient. Home. All around Remus, people were raving about the castle, but he heard none of the chatter, only focusing on how breathtakingly unreal the place looked. He lightly tapped his arm, this really was real, it was really happening. He had a home.

"Er, James? I have a question," Remus murmured as everyone got off the boats.

"Fire away," James replied with a toothy grin.

"Am I supposed to use people's surnames when talking to them?" He whispered, embarrassed that he'd had to ask.

James chuckled, "only if you're not friends with them, you're my friend so i'll call you Remus, yeah?"

"Yeah," Remus said, and in that moment he forgot meaningless promises and useless vows to stay away from others, because he had friends. He had friends and it felt amazing.

"First years, good evening! I will now take you on into the Great Hall. When you are there, you will be called to the stool in no particular order, and asked to place the Sorting Hat on your head. After some contemplation, the Hat will choose which house you will be in, and you must go sit at the designated table for that house. Good luck, and may the Hat have mercy," someone remus knew to be Professor McGonagall announced, eyes sweeping over the crowd.

There was silence prior to her speech, so she began to lead them into the Hall, ushering them along.

There was a stool in the middle of the stage in front of a long table where all the staff sat, and an old, worn hat placed atop.

"Veness, Kerry," Professor McGonagall read out from the parchment in her hands.

A small, shaking figure made her way up to the stool, sitting down and placing the hat on her head. It was rather large and unfortunately slipped down over her eyes, obscuring her face.

After about 30 seconds, the hat cried out "HUFFLEPUFF!"

The girl looked relieved and rushed over to join the table with yellow banners.

"Black, Sirius," said Professor McGonagall.

From what Remus knew of that family, there was no chance the boy would end up anywhere but Slytherin.

The boy walked up to the stool confidently, his hair a bit longer and shaggier than the regular 11 year old boy's but still falling into his eyes in a picture-perfect way.

The hat must have sat on his head for about a minute and a half before it cried out "GRYFFINDOR!"

The entire hall fell into a stunned silence. A Black in Gryffindor? That really was quite a shock, but the Sorting Hat never misjudged.

"GOD IS REAL!" a Gryffindor yelled, and was replied to with much laughter.

After the hall recovered and a few more names were called, James Potter and Lily Evans, his new friends, were both sorted into Gryffindor, along with a slightly shorter than average boy with blond hair. Alas, McGonagall called out "Lupin, Remus!"

He made his way up to the stool, trying to act as confident as James and Lily– and even Sirius Black.

The Hat sat comfortably on his head.

"My oh my! Interesting one here! A werewolf?" said the Hat, inside Remus' head.

"I think i know exactly where to put you– no scratch that 'i think' because i know where you belong, my boy, and that is GRYFFINDOR!" the Hat said the last word out loud, allowing the whole hall to hear.

Remus was completely shocked. Utterly and completely taken aback. His father had made it clear that the Hat would place him in Slytherin, because he was a dark creature.

The Gryffindor table clapped and cheered and some clapped him in the back as he walked along the table, spotting a seat beside James and Lily.

"We're all Gryffindor, huh? That's pretty cool, we could be like, the ultimate friendship group!" James exclaimed excitedly,"The Amazing Trio!"

Before Remus could stop himself, he was laughing and smiling and having a good time. For perhaps the first time in his life that he could remember, he felt like he belonged somewhere.

After the sorting finished, none other than Albus Dumbledore stood up and called for attention.

"Hello students, and welcome to a new year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. To our old faces, welcome back. To our new faces, I hope you enjoy your stay here, as you will hopefully be staying for at least 6 years. Whilst you are here, you will spend most of your time with your house. Let them be your friends, let them act as your family, treat them well, but remember to do the same for other houses, as house respect and unity is one of our greatest goals for this school. However, I shall not keep you from your food a minute longer! Please, dine!"

A cheer echoed through the hall as food appeared on the gold and silver platters and plates set out.

Remus gasped and his eyes widened as he saw the large portions of food on all the silver platters. Lost in his amazement and wonder, Remus thoughtlessly picked up a serving spoon and tugged the platter towards him slightly.

The second his hand came in contact with the platter, Remus drew it back, hissing in pain. He had to remember to be more careful around the plates.

"Are you alright?" came a voice, which belonged to a boy with shaggy black hair, just past his ears, who Remus identified as Sirius Black.

"Yes, I'm fine," Remus chuckled nervously.

Black peered at him suspiciously and grabbed his hand, seeing the small burn mark immediately.

"The platters aren't that hot at all! How did you manage to burn yourself?" Black questioned, insistently.

"He's right, how did you do that?" James put in, noticing the small commotion.

Lily tentatively reached out her hand and quickly rested the back of her hand against the silver.

"Lukewarm at most," she supplied.

A small blond boy to the right of James with fascinatingly blue eyes informed them, "he probably touched it just before the cooling charms set in."

"Yeah must've been, what's your name?" Remus asked, eternally grateful to this boy.

"Peter. Peter Pettigrew."

"I'm Remus Lupin, nice to meet you." Remus continued serving his food after this short exchange.

Just as the topic of Remus' burn began to fade, a tall blonde girl with dark eyes leaned over and said, "you know, I've heard silver burns those who hide their true form, like a purity test. I bet he's a hag or something in disguise, though his disguise isn't that great!" she cackled, along with two other girls who she had seemingly already picked up as her sides.

"Nobody asked for your worthless opinion, mudblood," Remus hissed at her before anyone could get a word in.

Everyone who heard the remark fell silent.

"How dare you?" the girl shouted at him, anger echoing in her voice.

"Lupin, what the hell?" asked Black, astounded.

"You can talk, Sirius Black!" Remus replied, then got up and moved to an empty seat right at the end.

He hadn't meant to say any of that. The full moon was tomorrow and with someone mentioning him being associated with dark creatures, it had been too much.

Remus was angry with himself. His mother had been a muggle, for god's sake!

He picked at his food until the dinner was finally over, then sulkily ran to where he knew his dormitory would be. He had found a map of Hogwarts and made it his business to learn every corner of it.

As he made his way up the stairs to the first year boy's dorm, Remus reflected on how awfully his first day had gone. He was so stupid.

At least this way he wouldn't risk getting close to anyone, he thought bitterly.

"Oh wonderful! I have to share a room with the racist!" Pettigrew yelled in mock delight as he entered the dormitory, but he flushed and shut up immediately after saying it, then looked at Potter.

"I wonder if we can petition to kick him out? Maybe swap him with Longbottom, he seemed like a nice fellow!" Potter joined in, almost acting as if Remus wasn't there.

Black said nothing.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Remus muttered, but he wasn't talking to the boys.

"Maybe you should've shut up when you used the m-word!" Potter said, glaring at him in contempt.

"Go away, go away, everything's fine!" Remus whisper-shouted to himself.

"What are you, crazy?" Potter taunted, and Pettigrew laughed in the background.

"Please, please, don't hurt them." Remus clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. The wolf was awake, and not leaving.

"Woah–," Potter started, but Black interrupted him.

"Shut up, Potter!" Black said, looking at Remus with a concerned and slightly scared expression.

"Lupin, do you want to leave? There's a bathroom on the second floor," Black told him.

Remus ran out without a second thought.

"Black, why are you being nice to him?" Potter asked Sirius, confused.

"Yeah! He's racist and completely mad, by the looks of it," Pettigrew put in.

"He looked on the verge of a mental breakdown. I cut him some. He'll get it for the racism later," Sirius explained stonily.

"He's right though, you're one to talk, your family probably sacrifice muggles in their spare time!" Potter said.

"I am nothing like my family. They'll probably disown me when they find out my house, which delightful cousin Bellatrix has probably owled them about already," Sirius explained in one breath.

"Oh," was all Potter could say.

In the bathroom, Remus was panicking immensely. He couldn't afford to lose control this easily, he should never have come to Hogwarts. Everyone hated him, and that's before they've realised he's a monster.

His mother's words came to him as tears streamed down his face and he tugged at his hair.

"Sometimes people do bad things, but that doesn't always mean they're bad people."

 _I am not a bad person._

 _I will not_ _become_ _the_ _monster_ _my_ _father_ _says_ _I am_.

 _I am not a monster_.

Remus did not agree with his thoughts, but he supposed he'd have to learn to. He'd have to learn to pretend he was human when he was around people, which he would be a lot of the time.

Peter lay down in his bed and drew the hangings.

I'm a Gryffindor, he thought, an actual Gryffindor.

 _I'll_ _make_ _you_ _proud_ , _mum and dad_ , _I am not a coward_. Peter smiled and drifted off to sleep with this thought. He had friends, people who cared about him. He had somewhere he just might belong, and he was not going to mess this up. He was not going to live up to his expectations.

I will stick by my friends and my house, I will be a Gryffindor, he thought.

That night, Peter dreamt of lions and snakes fighting to the death. That night, Peter dreamt of him fighting with his lions, protecting them. Peter dreamt of everything he'd ever wished for, and promised, when he awoke in the early hours of the morning, that he would make his dream a reality.

(a/n)

hi! i'm elijah. i'm really invested in the marauders era i lovE. so yeah cool hope u enjoy leave a vote and comment love u bye

alsoalsoalso at the start remus' mum had to fight a werewolf if you didn't get that bc it seems confusing am i talking to myself


	2. Chapter 2

The moon had just settled for the day and the sun had come out to shine when Remus Lupin found himself cold, shivering on top of scarlet and gold blankets.

He looked around, dazed and confused, and feeling very disorientated. Why was it so dark? Why was he so cold?

Then, it all flooded back to him.

A wide grin slowly stretched across his face as his mind managed to fit together the pieces and come to the conclusion that he was in Hogwarts.

Just as Remus felt as though he could probably do something extraordinary, like a cartwheel or other similar acrobatic moves, last night's supper came back to him.

How could he have said such an awful thing to an innocent girl?

 _She wasn't really innocent_ , said a small, evil voice in his head

She had, of course, called him a hag, but had that _really_ merited his racist reply. Remus Lupin didn't care at all about the blood that ran through people. Remus Lupin was kind and forgiving.

He got up and walked over to the bathroom which was connected to the dorm.

A large, slightly dusty mirror was placed on one of the walls.

Remus looked into it.

 _Who are you?_

Sirius Black awoke to floorboards creaking and curtains being ruffled.

He felt almost euphoric as he realised that he wasn't at home and that wasn't Kreacher coming to bring him down to the dining room.

It was all over in a second, though, as he saw the unmistakable red of his bed hangings and sheets.

 _What will mother and father do?_

Sirius felt nothing but dread as he got up and padded over to where the shared bathroom was situated.

He put his hand on the doorknob and twisted it, but hastily shut it when he saw none other than Remus Lupin at the sink.

Remus Lupin was a strange boy, Sirius thought. He hadn't struck him as the type to have the word 'mudblood' in his general vocabulary, but there you have it. People aren't always what they seem, he thought wistfully.

Remus was still slightly flustered over his short encounter with Sirius Black. He had probably just added fuel to the fire concerning their guess that he was mentally unstable.

 _You are mentally unstable._

Besides the point.

Remus hurriedly grabbed his toothbrush and cleaned his teeth and face, then stepped out of the bathroom to find Peter Pettigrew and James Potter getting out of bed and going about their daily activities.

He had considered James a friend less than twelve hours ago. Why had everything changed so quickly? Why was it always his fault?

"Morning, loony!" Potter mocked as he saw him rummaging through his small trunk.

"Lost something? Your mind, perhaps?" Potter looked extremely proud of himself, despite the fact that it really hadn't been that funny.

"Potter, would you shut up?" Black said quietly, from the bathroom doorway.

"Aw, c'mon, Black, I was counting on us being friends, don't get angry," Potter exclaimed, arrogance practically radiating from him.

"James, you're not funny," came Pettigrew's voice, from under his bed.

"Say Peter, what are you doing down there?" James replied, ignoring his remark.

"Looking for my slippers, ah there they are!" Pettigrew attempted to get himself out from under the bed but only bumped his head quite hard on the bed frame.

"Karma," remarked James.

"Piss off," remarked Peter.

During this exchange, Remus had found a clean shirt and retreated behind his bed curtains to change.

As he unbuttoned his pyjama shirt, he resolved to ignore the boys and hopefully make friends with others who were less likely to know about his slip-up at dinner.

It turns out, Remus broke his resolution the minute he had finished changing. Again, he blamed it on the full moon.

"Loooony," James teased.

"No offence, Potter – actually yes, take offence – but you're an ass and I'm sure the world would be better off if you kept your annoying mouth sealed. At all times." Remus took a deep breath, then grabbed his bag and walked out the dormitory.

"He has a point, James, there's no need to be so rude to him." Peter was the first to speak when Lupin walked out.

"No need? He used the _m-word_!" James said, astounded that no one agreed with him.

"We all saw him yesterday. He was in a right state, it was clearly an accident!" Peter shot back, internally proud of himself for not just going along with what James was saying.

"Well, who cares, he's still completely insane, I don't want to be friends with someone who's loopy!" James clearly finished the argument.

Peter heard a muffled whisper just then, and suddenly, James was hanging upside down, with his trousers off.

Peter slowly turned around and saw Sirius Black with his wand out, pointed at James. Then all three of them burst out into laughter.

"Hey let me down now!" James shouted, mid-laugh.

Black flicked his wand in a neat motion and James was lying in a heap on the floor.

"You have _got_ to teach me that!" he said, as soon as he had righted himself.

"Well what you do is..." and Sirius launched into a full explanation, complete with hand gestures, and excited babbling.

Peter smiled. It looked like making friends wasn't that hard at all, looked like being a Gryffindor wasn't too much work.

Later, the three of them had become acquainted, and James and Sirius were already planning pranks and jokes to play on people.

"Hey, we need someone to test this on, just incase it goes wrong," James pointed out, tapping a page in what they dubbed 'The Troublesome Trio's book of Troublemaking' and were already 6 pages into.

"Let's do it on loopy!" Peter put in.

Sirius looked a little disconcerted, but James lit up.

"Yes! Let's!"

Sirius – half-heartedly, Peter noticed – agreed, then got on with the notes.

Soon enough, breakfast was over and all the timetables had been handed out, showing that they all had Charms first, followed by Defence Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, Potions, and Transfiguration last.

They made their way up to the Charms classroom, which was – according to the timetable – in room 314, on the 3rd floor.

Unfortunately, due to moving staircases, disappearing steps and large crowds, Peter, James and Sirius turned up at least 10 minutes late to Charms, with a hardly good excuse.

"Care to explain why you are so unfashionably late, young men?" asked Professor Filius Flitwick.

"Disappearing steps–"

"Moving staircases–"

"Large people of crowds–"

They all turned to look at Peter.

"Crowds of people! Crowds of people!" he squeaked, embarrassed.

"It is your first lesson here at Hogwarts, so I shall let you off, but please do note that I have a punctuality policy that other teachers may not feel so strongly about. Now come along, sit according to the seating plan, which is on the board.

They all collectively groaned, then searched for their names on the seating plan.

James laughed at Sirius when he read he was seated next to Lupin, then sauntered over to Lily Evans, leaving Peter to sit by a blonde girl, coincidentally the one who had been the victim of Remus' outburst the previous day.

"Hello, Remus," Sirius said as he sat beside the terrified-looking boy.

"I- what?"

"I said, _hello Remus_ ," Sirius repeated, clearly and slowly, wondering if the boy may actually be a little loopy.

"I heard you. I just don't know why you used my first name," Remus muttered.

"Because," Sirius began, "I know why you said what you did."

Remus' suspicious expression instantly changed to an alarmed one.

"Y-you what?" he asked.

"No need to act so afraid. I was pretty terrified that I'd been put in Gryffindor, too. Not too far from a mental breakdown myself."

"Oh. Oh yes," Remus responded, relieved.

"Of course, I know there's another reason, and there's a reason you talk to yourself, and." He grinned at Remus, "I'm going to find out."

"Stay out of my life, Black." And that was the end of their conversation.

Sirius was starting to think Remus was really quite rude. But there was a reason, he stuck by that, and he would find out.

Halfway through Transfiguration, the last lesson of the day, a 5th year with a shiny red prefect badge knocked on the door.

"What is it, Avery?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"I've got to take Remus Lupin, here's the note," the boy– Avery, apparently –replied.

Remus looked up and started to pack his things away, noticing McGonagall realising why he had to go and no doubt recognising Dumbledore's signature.

"Very well, off you go Lupin," she smiled, and Remus hurried off, loosening his tie slightly as he went.

Sirius narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Where on earth did Remus have to go which was so important that he had to miss part of his lesson?

Sirius raised his hand, "could I go to the bathroom, Professor?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, hurry along," McGonagall said, clearly distracted.

Sirius let the classroom and turned right, seeing Remus' figure slip around the corner.

Despite having been about 10 steps behind Remus, when Sirius turned the same corner, he saw nothing but a long, empty corridor.

He sighed in frustration.

He had only known of the boy's existence for a day or so, and already he could see there was something a bit off. It wasn't up to Sirius to find out, but that wouldn't stop him.

"Why did you slip out of TF?" asked James, when he spotted Sirius walking over to him and Peter.

"He followed Lupin," said Peter, then looked at Sirius, "right?"

"Yeah, how did you..?" Sirius asked, confused, he hadn't taken Peter to be the sort of person who could figure that out.

"You practically ran out of the classroom after him, I'm offended that you were about to make up a different excuse. Anyway, why did you chase after him?" Peter questioned.

James looked at Peter strangely.

"There's something not quite right about him, I thought I'd be able to find out," Sirius told them.

"Well yeah, he's mental," James said, as if it was the most simple thing in the world and was confused as to why anyone else wouldn't get it. Which, of course, was exactly what he had thought when saying the words.

"I'm starting to think you're right, you know," Sirius remarked.

Peter gave a small murmur of agreement.

"I have something to tell you both," James suddenly said in a loud, dramatic voice, "come, my dear fellows, we must talk in my private chambers."

Peter laughed and Sirius rolled his eyes, but they both followed James to the dormitory.

"Well, I've decided I trust you enough with this information, so." The messy-haired boy ruffled his hair further, then dug around in his trunk and produced what appeared to be a large cloak, seemingly made entirely of silver silk.

Sirius let out a loud gasp, "you are joking!"

"A cloak?" Peter asked, not understanding what had startled Sirius so much.

"An invisibility cloak, lad," James corrected, smiling proudly, "it was my father's," he added.

"The Wizarding World never ceases to amaze me," Peter said.

James and Sirius both looked at him.

"What?" they asked in unison.

"Well, I didn't think invisibility cloaks were actually a thing," Peter chuckled.

"Are you muggle-born?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, didn't I mention it?" Peter replied.

"Why aren't you more affected by what loopy said?" James questioned.

"Well, to tell the truth, I didn't know what it meant at first but after supper, Longbottom told me, but I don't know, it hasn't affected me," Peter explained quietly, slightly nervous.

"This is brilliant, Peter! Don't you see? You can get all sorts of muggle stuff and we can incorporate it into our amazing pranks and by merlin, how have you not thought to mention this?" Sirius babbled excitedly.

"I've known you for about 24 hours, give or take, forgive me if I didn't start spouting information about my bloodline," Peter replied teasingly.

James laughed, "these are going to be the best years of my life."

Sirius smiled, "let's make them the very, very best."

Peter almost cried. So this is what it feels like to have best friends. This is what it felt like to have people who cared about you.

Remus was frightened. He had never transformed anywhere but the basement of the small Lupin House, and he hated to think how bad tonight's would be.

"Madame Pomfrey, would it be okay if I went down a little early? I can feel tonight will be bad," Remus asked, very quietly.

She looked at him sympathetically, "of course, let me just grab my cloak and I will take you down to the Shack. Have you eaten?"

"Yes," Remus lied. He'd felt too scared to eat or rest, and he was getting sick of those sympathetic looks.

Earlier, he'd had to leave Transfiguration early to attend a meeting concerning his lycanthropy, and all he'd got was sympathy and pity, it was enough to make him excuse himself because of a "pre-moon headache," as he'd called it.

Madame Pomfrey helped him up and accompanied him down the stairs to the large doors that led outside.

They walked for about 20 minutes, before the reached the Shack, and Remus assured her that he could make it down the passage by himself.

"Here goes, beasty," Remus said to himself as he undressed and placed his clothes out of sight, so he wouldn't accidentally maul them.

It was absolute agony slowly seeing the sun set, but Remus tried to spend that time familiarising himself with the room, hopefully accustoming the beast to the change.

Alas, the sun sank completely, the sky fading from blue, to orange, to a light shade of pink, then plunging into darkness.

"Under this killing moon," he whispered to himself, remembering a song he had heard shortly after his first transformation, "under this burning sky," he sang, a little louder, "the fire's shining groom." His body began to change, plunging him into agonising pain.

"I hold my breath and close my eyes."

The wolf took over. Remus screamed and shouted, but soon the cries turned into howls and growls. The wolf couldn't form any proper thoughts but one thought stayed with him that night, thoughts of a dark night, silver blades, cries of pain, and amber eyes slowly shutting, telling him to hold on, telling him everything was good to be alright.

That transformation was probably the worst since his first moon.

Madame Pomfrey had stared at him, pity and a hint of anger in her eyes.

"You'll be okay," she whispered, taking him to the hospital wing.

Remus awoke to his joints aching and a strange pain on the side of his face, and very, very bright white.

He nearly screamed. He remembered the blinding white lights that had awoken him the day his mother disappeared and his father went away and never truly came back.

You're safe, Remus, you're okay.

Remus had to be strong.

"Ah, you're awake, hello Remus!"

He blinked. This was new.

"It's me, dear, Madame Pomfrey," the voice said again, now confirmed to be Madame Pomfrey.

"Oh, hello," Remus replied, attempting to sit up but not being able to, due to the pain.

"Last night was a rough one. It's not accustomed to the change of scenery," Remus explained to her.

"They're usually better than this?" she asked.

"Yes. Not so much, though." He smiled weakly, then touched his hand to the side of his face, confirming his suspicions.

A magically scarred over cut ran from below his ear, down past his jaw and stopped just before his neck.

"That one can't be completely healed, but the others should hurt less and be almost completely scarred and scabbed over by tomorrow," she told him, her expression rather concerned.

"Thank you. Will I have to stay off lessons today?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm afraid you will, but Dumbledore had given your excuses. Your dormitory members were informed you are in the hospital wing due to a fever."

"Thank you," Remus said again, embarrassed that Pettigrew, Black, and Potter had been informed of his whereabouts when they didn't care at all.

"The guy's got a fever? Figures," Sirius said, as a Gryffindor prefect walked away after telling them that Lupin was in the hospital wing.

"What do you mean?" Peter asked him.

"He looked ill."

James shot Sirius a strange look, "really? I didn't notice. Mentally ill, yeah, but physically?" he said.

"Leave him be. You don't have to like him, but you needn't bully him. Apart from the prank. The prank doesn't count as bullying, because it will be epic." Sirius grinned, baring all his teeth.

"Should we really? Whilst he's ill?" Peter asked, worried.

"We'll do it tomorrow, you idiot." James rolled his eyes.

"Don't call me an idiot," Peter said, looking upset, but hurriedly laughed to hide his genuine anger and sadness at being called and idiot.

James shot Peter a strange look.

"Stop looking at people funny, like you're above them, it's rude," Sirius told him.

"I bet you used the wrong 'you're' in that sentence," James replied.

"What?"

"Never mind."

The three finally arrived at the Great Hall and seated themselves on the Gryffindor table.

"And now, my friends, we feast," cried James, earning a few cheers from around them. He looked rather pleased with himself.

"This food is magically enhanced, isn't it?" Peter asked, suspiciously eyeing a chicken leg, "you don't find food like this with muggles."

"Who cares? It tastes good," Sirius replied through a mouthful of beef and mashed potato, making it sound like "woo fares? If test goof" but James and Peter got the general idea of the slightly obscured sentence.

[short time skip: dinner has finished]

"What do you reckon happened to Lupin?" Asked Sirius in a corner of the Gryffindor common room.

The giver of strange looks shot Sirius one of his signature looks, which directly translated to, "what are you on about?"

"Didn't you see him at dinner?"

"He was at dinner?" Peter added to the mostly one-sided conversation.

Sirius sighed in frustration.

"Yes! Yes he was, and more importantly, he had a scar! Just here." He traced the area of the scar on his own face his finger.

"And? Scars are fairly common, probably from a fall or something," Peter said, uninterested.

"No! It wasn't there yesterday!" Sirius said.

"Are you sure? Maybe you just didn't notice," James joined in.

"No, I'd have noticed," he insisted.

"Yeah. Okay." Sirius was graced with another Strange Look.

"Heathens." Sirius walked up the stairs and opened the door to the dorm, only to find Lupin sat, reading on his bed.

Sirius nearly greeted him, but thought better of it at the last second, and awkwardly pretended to retrieve something from his trunk then walked back downstairs.

"Back so soon, Black?" James greeted him.

"Lupin was up there," he explained quietly.

"Did he look better? Time for The Prank, do you reckon?" Peter asked, an evil glint in his eye.

Peter was then made a victim of a Strange Look.

"Your attitude changes fast," James commented.

"He looked well enough. We should be able to do it tomorrow," Sirius told them, his heart not quite in it.

"Brilliant!"

(A/n) ngl i hate this chapter it's so bad buT

Give this story some love with a review. Alternatively, express your utmost hatred for it, also in a review. ^_^ love you bye

-E


	3. Chapter 3

The moon had once appeared beautiful to Remus Lupin. Once upon a time, in a far away land where he laughed and lived, where he loved and cared for the people around him. A land where everything was okay; where the clouds were made of dreams, and where the stars waved goodbye every night.

Remus stared out the window of his shared dormitory, sadly scrutinising the once intriguing and wonderful moon which now held memories of pain and anger.

"Must the night hate me so?" he whispered to the moon.

"Must the stars reject my greetings and the horizon cower in my presence?"

"Nice poetry, Lupin, did you write it?" called a voice from behind him.

"Yes."

The Voice stayed silent for a moment longer than considered normal, clearly taken aback by his blunt reply.

"Ah, okay. Well, I just came by accompanied by a peace offering." The Voice moved closer to Lupin.

"Is that so, Potter? I'm listening."

"Right, right. Um, so. I've realised I am mistaken in, well, in terms of the teasing thing and it may have got out of hand. So, I come offering a bar of chocolate and my apologies," James finished awkwardly.

"I accept your offering and ask that you kindly go back to the common room," Remus said calmly.

"Uh, are you gonna eat that, then?" James asked.

"By you lingering for longer than needed, I have decided the chocolate is poisoned in some way and therefore, no, I will not be eating it." Remus said this all in one breath, never taking his eyes off the moon and trying to fend off the anger creeping into his voice.

Still, James stood a little way in the room, silent and unmoving.

"Walk away Potter, just walk away."

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then shut it again and made to leave the room.

At the doorway, he turned back and found his hazel eyes meeting almost unnaturally amber eyes mixed in with flecks of gold and green.

"You're not loopy, you're just– I don't know. There's something different about you, yeah? What is it?" He struggled getting out the sentences and ended in a slightly frustrated tone.

"I'm not stupid like you and all of Gryffindor, Potter. That's what's different. That is," he spat, though the last part came out as a whisper.

"I don't–." James stopped his sentence and once again turned towards the door, exiting silently.

Remus was left to wallow in his thoughts but he found his mind blank and the moon burned permanently on his eyes. Why must the day end? Why must the moon always come out at night?

"Back so soon?" Peter asked as James sat beside him on the sofa in front of the fire.

"He didn't eat it," James said in a disappointed tone, "he didn't even eat it."

"That's weird," Sirius joined in, "I saw him eating a ton of chocolate earlier, would've thought he liked the stuff."

The other two turned to look at him and James arched an elegant and surprisingly nicely-shaped eyebrow.

"Stalker."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Heathens!"

"It's true," Peter added.

"It's not," Sirius said flatly.

"Whatever you say, Black," James said with a smirk.

At the mention of his last name, Sirius flinched slightly, wiping the smile completely off James' face.

"Sirius," he corrected himself quickly, and turned away.

Eyebrows furrowed slightly, Peter stared into the fire.

After a few minutes of awkward silences and failed attempts at conversation, Peter got up and walked up to the dormitory without explanation.

James and Sirius shared a look, then went after him.

Sirius mumbled something on their way up which sounded vaguely like, "I was just going to go to bed," and James nodded in agreement, murmuring something indiscernible in response.

Had things really got that awkward? So fast? Sirius thought frustratedly as he drew the scarlet curtains around his bed after a halfhearted "good night" to James and Peter, and a quick glance at Remus Lupin's bed, the curtains drawn and no noise coming from inside.

Sirius thought about how he would grow up with these people, how he would spend the next 7 years with these people and smiled inwardly, thinking of the memories they would make.

"These years are going to be the best years of my life," he murmured to himself just before he dropped off to sleep.

One bed over, Remus Lupin lay on his back with the duvet pulled right up to his chin, staring at the ceiling with tears in his eyes which he refused to let fall. The ceiling had strange carvings on it, unconventionally shaped flowers and various animals which he couldn't quite make out.

His eyes dropped slightly.

"One day you're going to be someone really special, Rem." He heard his mother's voice in his head.

"The world's going to know your name, son," her voice whispered, seemingly right next to him.

"I don't think so mum," he whispered to himself, his eyes finally closing, sending him into a dark, dreamless sleep.

What would the next years bring?

November brought along the last bits of autumn and dull-coloured leaves in contrast to October's golden and red. Low temperatures were becoming common, but the castle's House Elf Team had managed to install an excellent and efficient heating system using their payment. Although, rumour had it, their pay was to be stopped soon due to the fact that they spent it only on Hogwarts Castle and its residents.

House Elves were very peculiar creatures, Remus Lupin pondered, sitting facing the fire in the Gryffindor common room on a large beanbag chair. So disadvantaged and yet willing to be.

Just then, a loud crash came from the portrait hole, breaking Remus' chain of thoughts about disadvantaged House Elves.

"GIVE IT BACK YOU PRICK!" Roared the unmistakable voice of the one and only Sirius Black.

"APOLOGISE!" Roared back James Potter.

Remus sighed and collected up his books, slipping away to the dormitory. The Trio were well-known for their ten minute fall outs and arguments, which were always resolved completely within the hour.

Recently, the three had become much more relaxed regarding Remus Lupin, apparently accepting that they would be spending the next 7 years living with him. For this, Remus was grateful. He didn't need their friendship after all, seeing as he had become fast friends with Lily Evans and somewhat friendly with Frank Longbottom and his friends.

Placing his books back in his trunk and sealing it shut with a whispered _defigo_ , he resolved to go meet Lily by their usual hangout, where she'd no doubt be sat, reading a book. He always took the precaution of sealing his trunk shut magically due to the fact that The Trio were quite famous for their badly executed pranks which often ended in mild injury.

As Remus quietly walked over to the portrait hole, he noticed that all the commotion had seemingly completely died down as he had predicted.

 _What a troublesome lot they were,_ Remus thought, pushing away the part of him which wished to have a friendship like that. After all, the trio would probably die for each other, and they had known each other for about 3 months.

Not for the first time that day, Remus shook his head free of thoughts and made his way down to the small cherry blossom tree next to The Whomping Willow. This had become his and Lily's hangout spot since they realised no one would come near it because of The Whomping Willow.

Remus didn't understand why Lily was indifferent to the ghost stories surrounding the tree, but he accepted it and was grateful that they had never discussed it– how would she react knowing he went there once a month to turn into a monster?

"Remus!" Shouted a voice, probably belonging to a certain redhead with a book open on her lap.

"Lily, how are you?" Remus asked friendlily, pulling his cloak tighter around him and sitting beside her on the bench. There was a small, rusty silver plaque on the back of the bench which read "In Loving Memory of Myrtle Elizabeth Warren (15 June 1929 –13 June, 1943)" who was, as Lily had explained before, a mopey ghost who haunted the Hogwarts bathrooms.

"I'm alright, you?" She asked politely.

"Been better," Remus admitted.

"And your father?" She said concernedly.

"Not improving much, I'm visiting him today," Remus told her, reciting the lie he used to cover his monthly disappearances.

"I see," was all she said.

"Remus," she began rather awkwardly.

"Yes?"

"You share a dorm with Potter, Black, and Pettigrew, no?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Why aren't you, um, why aren't you friends with them?" She mumbled, going slightly red.

Remus stayed silent for a moment, then opened his mouth, "they don't want to be friends with me."

Lily looked up at him anxiously, "not even Ja-, not even Potter?" She questioned.

"Not even Potter," Remus replied bitterly.

"Oh, he seems to be friends with everyone and, uh, stuff, you know." Lily coughed awkwardly.

"Well I can't make them like me," Remus muttered.

"But you can, Remus! You have to make the first move sometimes. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go offer them your friendship!" She finished confidently.

"Well, you're not wrong," Remus struggled to get out, "but– like, you see, they openly dislike me, it's not– I don't, I don't know what I'm doing wrong," he finished softly.

"Right. Come with me."

Lily grabbed his wrist and yanked him upright, dragging him towards the castle.

"Lily! Where are we going?" He asked, struggling to remove himself from her grip.

"The common room," she assured him.

"Okay," Remus answered suspiciously, every instinct shouting that he shouldn't trust her.

"Lily, please, what are we doing?" He questioned further, when she had still not released her strong grip. His breath started to quicken and he felt his wolfish instinct for survival kick in, which would no doubt end badly. He felt the wolf struggling to be released and it took everything in him to keep battling it.

Lily let go of him and stared in horror as he fell to the ground, his breaths uneven and fast, his hands balled into fists and his whole body shaking unnaturally.

"Remus! REMUS! What's happening? HELP! SOMEONE!" She started shouting, which did nothing to help Remus in his current state.

"Lily, go! Go!" He shouted, tears starting to escape his eyes.

And Lily ran.

She ran all the way to the hospital wing in almost 3 minutes and hurriedly told Madame Pomfrey what had happened.

In a flash, Madame Pomfrey was out the door and on her way to Remus with Lily close on her heels.

"Remus," she said calmly and gently as soon as she got there, ignoring how out of breath she was.

Lily stepped back to let Madame Pomfrey help him.

"It's me, I'm here, you are okay," she spoke to him a soothing voice.

"This will be over soon, you will be okay," she continued reassuring him, sitting beside him.

"Moon," he whispered in a shaky voice, "I hate the moon."

"The moon never was kind to you, my boy," she said, picking him up in her arms as his breaths started to even out, and slowly walking him to the hospital wing. Lily followed, dumbfounded.

Once Remus had been placed in a hospital bed and put to sleep, Lily went over to Madame Pomfrey.

"What happened?" She asked.

"He had a panic attack, dear, I'll have to ask about his history with that sort of thing," Madame Pomfrey explained tiredly.

"I see," said Lily.

"You were right to come to me, of course dear, but if this happens again, I advise you to stay with him and reassure him– tell someone else to fetch me," she told Lily.

"Of course, sorry," Lily replied embarrassedly.

"You weren't to know," she said kindly, "now may I ask what you think caused this?"

"Well," Lily started guiltily, then explained the story of how they'd been discussing Remus' friends and then she had decided to take him to the common room to speak to The Trio.

"I see, I see, well, I think he should definitely be encouraged to make friends– but perhaps go about it differently. Now, off you go to dinner, it starts in 10 minutes."

"Goodbye, Madame Pomfrey, thank you for your help!" Lily walked out the ward with one last glance at Remus.

"Pettigrew, a word?" Asked Lily, stood beside where The Trio were sat, a little way into dinner.

"Right now?" Peter said, looking adoringly at all the food set out.

"Yes," she answered shortly.

"Okay," he said, noticing her serious expression and slipping quietly away so the other two wouldn't notice.

James narrowed his eyes, watching Lily and Peter quietly walk away.

"What's Peter doing with Evans?" He spat.

Sirius gave him a funny look, "why d'you care?"

"He's our friend! Slipping off with some girl!" James said, as if shocked Sirius wasn't more, well, serious.

Sirius smirked, "ah but not just any girl, is it James? The one and only Lily Evans!"

"Piss off," was all James said, stabbing a roast potato with his fork and accidentally crushing it.

Sirius decided to drop the teasing, noticing how genuinely grumpy his friend looked. James and Evans? Interesting.

After an awkward and mostly silent 10 minutes, Peter returned to the table.

"What happened?" Sirius asked immediately.

Peter gulped, "it's about Lupin."

"What about him?" James joined in, suddenly looking far less grumpy.

"She thinks we should be friendlier with him."

"Why?" Sirius asked.

James stayed silent.

"He had a panic attack earlier," Peter told them, "she said it was really scary, and that he should really have some people to support him, also because of his father."

"His father?" Asked James, "I knew it!"

"He's sick, really sick– probably going to die, and his mother is already dead," Peter said solemnly.

"What?" James asked incredulously.

"His dad is dying!" Peter said exasperatedly.

"I thought– I thought it was his father though," James said, confused.

"What on earth are you on about?" Sirius asked him.

"I was starting to think his dad was, you know," James whispered.

"What?" Asked Peter.

"Nevermind," said James.

Sirius shot him a Strange Look.

"So, what do you say?" Peter asked them both.

"I guess, I guess it's only– it's only Gryffindor to be friends with him," James decided.

"He's got brains, he could help us with pranks," Sirius said, sounding like he was convincing himself more than anyone.

"We'll have to rename our group," Peter pointed out.

"Woah, we're letting him into the Trio?!" James asked incredulously.

"Honestly, why not?" Sirius said, and Peter nodded his agreement, his mouth full of chicken.

"O-okay."

"Quarrelling Quartet!" Peter announced.

"Maybe we should let Remus decide our name," Sirius said after an awkward pause, and James murmured his agreement.

Dinner had just ended and the three planned to go up to their dorm and invite Remus into their friendship group.

"He'll accept! Don't look so terrified!" James told the other two cheerfully.

Sirius had a few doubts but pushed them away and made his way up the staircases with his two friends either side of him.

Peter hoped Remus would accept, he knew there was nothing worse than being excluded from friendships and having no one. He knew because he had been there, he'd been lonely and upset and felt like a disappointment. He understood the pain, and he didn't want anyone else to have to feel that way.

"Lupin! WE COME BEARING–"

"Shut up James! He might be slee–"

"Lupin, are you awake?" Sirius asked the curtains drawn around Remus' bed.

A small rustle came from inside, then a small face peeked out through the hangings.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes!" Started James, but he was immediately cut off by the other two shouting a synchronised "SHUT UP!"

"Basically, we're extremely sorry," said Sirius.

"Extremely," Peter emphasised.

"And we'd quite like you to join our sort of gang," Sirius explained.

"You can even rename it," Peter added.

"We're really sorry," James cut in suddenly, looking genuinely guilty and upset, "we shouldn't have excluded you, and, and stuff." He finished awkwardly, his 'awkward teenager' thing kicking in.

"I don't know what to say," Remus answered.

"Do you, Remus John Lupin–," James started.

"How do you know my middle name?" Asked Remus.

"Do you, Remus John Lupin, accept our invitation for you to join the gang?" James said.

"Okay. Okay," Remus said in a small voice.

"REALLY?" Shouted Sirius, high-five-ing Peter.

"Really," replied Remus, a small smile creeping onto his face.

As James and Sirius started chatting excitedly to Remus, Peter stayed silent, aau smile ever-present on his face. He knew exactly how Remus was feeling, he felt less empty and so, so happy. It was how Peter had felt the first time James and Sirius had welcomed him, despite his less-than-Gryffindor personality. James and Sirius truly were good people, even if they didn't always show it.

(a/n) i'm back? sorry this is awful, i haven't felt like writing in ages. also, i didn't want my dad to find out because it's not 'manly' to write haha. thanks for reading, review if you hated it, and maybe if you liked it?


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